What's in the future?

It's weird sometimes when you stand and look around in a familiar enviroment and look around ... and you feel absolutely lost. Like the world is sucked out from you and all you have is vast white emptiness. I spoken at great lengths with Boy-Man today. He preach to me God's word again. It seems strange or maybe I am letting ego go to my head but I seem to most christians here as someone who would join them, or assume I am one.

That conversation just did not help the angst that I have, knowing I would have no chance whatsoever with Miss Kwan. The language barrier is given, knowing that I still dream that I could actually have a chance with her... I am foolish.
Dammmmmm... The mouse moved on its own.. really freaky. It not just this mouse. The mouse on the other computer moved on its own as well... ee yeeerrr...

So how is it going to be? Am I doomed to settle for mediocre? Taking what I need to have? Did I choose the wrong word. Should I have taken the road of mediocracy and got married early like the people around me? Should I've not taken this path of pursuit for "happiness"?
I ask questions that no one can answer. Should I even be asking? I grow weary.

Its time to save money, after the trip to thailand with Mr Bok and Co., I would have to start tighting the belt, by exercise and saving

Things I need to really focus on
- Contact lens. ($200 ? never my glasses are shitting me no end)
- Do my teeth ($600 bucks aside for new pearly whites)
- Learn to play golf (at least learn to swing the club)
- Go on a regular exercise routine
- Club less ($$$ sucking vice)
- Read at least a book a month
- Stop playing WoW

All said and done :) .. lets do it


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