I should be like a bear and hibernate

The cold month of December is approaching. Whenever comes this time of the year, the story of the Little Match Girl comes to mind. How she tries to warm herself with the matches and how she imagines beautiful things with the warmth of each match. Until there are no more matches left, she dies… in the cold.

Makes me wonder if me life is like this. From a match of happiness to another. At least I know I am not alone, and I know what is happening. I do want to find that warm fireplace. But I am too driven. It’s like a truck engine on a small Fiat Pinto. An self inflicted disaster waiting to happen.

Good thing I can “Esc” thru work, there is nothing much more I can do. Christmas is still open, 4 days of Hols yet to be decided. My contract coming to an end again. Work distractions always come in handy.

I will be going to the land of a …. I don’t know what kind of land HK represents. I’ve seen the map, and it has shyteloads of hills. Going to pig myself like there is no tomorrow. My first trip, very very excited. After waiting for almost 2 years.. Finally I get to leave that friggin cubi.

Tired… too greedy with time… stretching them hours too long… Gotta make plans to skip the country… Lonely Christmas.. with George Michael’s Careless Whisper to serenade me.

Arrggh.. give me a “Love Actually” ending!!!!

when you are stoning in front of the PC

A million and one things (ok… I am exaggerating it) awaits me but all I can do is stone in front of the PC. The passing of anyone that I know personally kinda makes me feel this way. Which means as I grow older, know more people, and those people grow older and will be “on their way”, I will be so sad/grief/melancholy that I most probably go mad. Ah…… Insanity is the greatest escape.

I need to get away from the computer. I want to go away, but not alone. I hate solace, I think I am lonely. I think pin found someone. I am happy for her. She deserves to be happy. Who doesn’t?

Hmmmpf.

The casualty of last Saturday’s poptart was shu, but I think those around her got more damage than she has. I am getting desperate. I need to spend 4.5 days of leave within the next 1.5 months. I don’t want to end up taking it and staying at home playing WoW.

I hate Christmas and New Year. Being alone(single) during this time makes u more lonely than anything else. Maybe I should find someone. Eee yer, Just don’t like the idea of “needs to an end” kind of thing. But wat to do? I just think too much. I am not getting any younger (yes, I have been saying that like an broken record) but what am I to do?

It sucks to have knowledge, knowledge of your anti-happiness even before it happen. All you do is sit there and wait for it. So….

In memory of Uncle James, I sort of understood what you felt, and I admire for your strength and pride. You tough exterior soft interior of character is something that you have unknowing taught me. You are missed. I mourn for your loss as were a part of my kin.

I WANT!!!

Here are my wants.. pretty immediate, in no particular order or urgency (they all are urgent!!)

- Ipod (any type, as long as not fake)
- Digital Camera (the phone can only do so much. normal ones or SLR also can)
- a good massage (non kinky, no special. Now I am that lazy, unfortunately for me)
- a portable HDD (hard disc drive for those who don't know)
- Time (when did I ever have enough of those, and no.. I don't mean the magazine)
- a ticket to UK/France (12days, my target date, Visit Sis, friends and old friends)
- a weight loss program (where them pounds come from??!?!?!)

ok.. too friggin tired. 2 posting in one sitting.. siao man.... I love reading blogs. I m a cyber "sum patt kong"

Heading to a meltdown

I am soooooooooo busy. I have 12 hour days for 2 weeks. I think I’ve passed burnout and heading for meltdown. Feels like I’ve done a million things over this period of time, at work that is. Countless projects and issues come in bad, go out good (what rubbish construction of sentence) It’s good to be aware and in control of your shyte when everyone is trying… read again TRYING to put you down. Muahahaha… I pwn you bytches!!! … hahaha, power trip.

I am FINALLY getting to go on a company paid trip. Hope there are more to come. Compared to the kid, it’s peanuts, not the 600,000 kind.. it’s the thumb brand kind. I go for one.. he travels for 3 weeks. Fucking hell.. but don’t worry about these… I feel like I am in office survival… no.. not your apprentice… this is real life. Apprentice is about getting the job, this is about keeping the job.

The next day is going to be crazy as well. Tomorrow night, Harry Potter, pick up Rae’s pressie, Crash Course for Jap from da love machine (cracks me up when I see or think of that name). Saturday, lunch date with some Japanese colleagues (explains the crash course) not matchmaking, just making friends, Rae bdae (get to see her bf, Sky, hahahaha), POP TART! Don’t think I will dance.. most probably just chill.

Sunday I need to recharge batt. I have not WoW for like the longest time (2hrs only, last night for the whole week). Someone wrote about me in her blog. I am a green labit. My response… ermmmm. Yes. That is my response “ermmmm”

Glad to see Paw is picking himself up.. good for u man!!!

I really hope there is some thing good happen to me to have a good finale for the year.

Ok.. my hair dry already.. I think I can go sleep now.

Help me understand

It is a term commonly used to stress that you are in disagreement and trying not hard enough to comprehend the situation or question.

I wasted a good 3 hours!!!! @#%%@^_@(%#@ What I do not understand is why local guys choose to “borrow drink to drown sorrow” Maybe I am not smart enough, or maybe I am weird. I find it FUCKING stupid. I know I have friends who have done it, they are all nice people, don’t get me wrong, but drowning sorrows in alcohol is dumb. It dumber than dumb. It makes George W Bush look smart even. And most of the time is about women. What is love? Love is like the marketing ploy that eons ago, people decided that to make money, lets invent valentines day, for guys to have an easier time to “profess their love” and girls to be pampered, not like they are being pampered every once in a while already.

Rules of life should be made simple and clear. Simple logic should be first applied to any problem encountered, in this case, Love, or the confiscation of it.
“Love” is a general word that is no different from “Nice”. So bloody ambiguous that it covers every aspect. It’s like a fortune teller saying that you have a good heart, or you will have someone special who will turn your life around for the better. You can't elaborate, can you? huh? huh? huh?

It’s all bullshit to pepper you up. Love is not just fucking or saying nice things or beauty. Love is a lot of fucking hard work, a lot of dreaming, a lot of being charmed. yes .. like a snake. Brings new light to the saying "cho chua"
(Being snake in hokkien, a chinese dialect that in a few more years will be lost to the locals who were born and bred. The bourgeoisie children are losing the ablitiy to speak their own dialect)

Breaking up is just having a lack of something. If there is anything, there won’t be a breakup. Right? Catch 22 in the works again.

If you disagree with me, do leave a comment, but I will assume that you are taking it from a “personal,-I-do-not-do-such-things” angle. Which means, I am not referring to u .. u ninny.

If you agree, don’t buy in to much of it. There is bound to be some special cases, like those who disagree

If you are lost, fine stay that way. I need people like you to provide me emotional grief so I can keep writing.

This is hopeless. Someone take me away please.

What is there to say

Ah.. .yes.. a long break from dumping here because of these few excuses (which are true btw). In chronological order,

1) Man down, need to back up and make sure no one was left behind (it’s a human being thing, I am very selfish to be honest)
2) Lack of indie-ness and fun jumping music. (Picking up again)
3) Sloth
4) Computer motherboard burnt out. (YES. PLAY TOO MUCH!!!)
5) Kakis introduced to WoW (angst of “doing the right thing” in 2 worlds, at least this we can always kill the mob again)
6) Create new character, need to work hard!!! (see point 3 what I meant)
7) Giving birth to a new product, 19 to be exact (Final stages!!!!)
8) Need to focus on future of career. (and an escape route if required)

I have vacation time to clear. No $$ to go anywhere. What is the point, it will be even worst if I spend it just WoWing at home. I need a girl, give me a girl!!!!!

The boy travels again, WTF, I need a job that gets me out of this Shytehole. I want to see more. I need to bullshit more, like him. Useless prick just read reviews, can’t play games.. bleh… me sour grapes.

I am FATTTTTER. I have no idea how I ballooned. Lack of excerise is one, but I really don’t want to grow anymore. Fuck the Chinese idea of “fat is prosperity”. I don’t buy these figments of denial.

Bloggers get in trouble for racist remarks. I think everyone is racist in a certain way. It’s funny if you don’t be too tense over it. It’s no different from those “Your mama so fat” jokes. So be chill. Take it with a pinch of MSG and don’t go overboard with it. We are all guilty. Then again, I did not see how bad was the damage so can’t comment on those sorry sods.

I watch Saving Face with a friend. Very educational and witty. Go watch it J

Ok.. blank brain. The Lighting Seeds on repeat not helping too. No emo angst to whine about (Thank you!!!!)

Till the next time, a la prochain fois, and.. ah.. .fuckit.. bye